


take me all for you

by LaVie_EnRose



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, angsty, good ending maybe, he just doesnt know they love him yet, im soft and sad today ✌, kinda ache-y, made my heart break a little, not unrequited love!, opposite of capslock, our favorite poly couple!, sam kim inspo, this is very deep, very simple, young adult-ness??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 04:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21220748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaVie_EnRose/pseuds/LaVie_EnRose
Summary: "oh please, my heart is all for you.just please, take care of me,i'm all for you.take take take me all for you.take take take me home to you."





	take me all for you

**Author's Note:**

> sam kim-seattle
> 
> (:

"injunnie-are you alright?" 

he wants to leave. 

wants to run and hide. 

cause right about now he feels a lot like little. 

a lot like small and lonely. 

"yeah-sorry. what were you saying?" he asks, looking up carefully from the book he's reading and looking back down when he sees jeno place his hand over jaemins.

"do you wanna come over this weekend after you're done with work? jeno and me are gonna have a date night! it'll be fun! we can watch those chinese reality shows you watch with chenle." 

"ah, i think i'll be fine at home, nana." 

"hyung~" 

"it's getting late and the library will close soon-i think m'gonna go guys." 

jeno speaks up this time, or tries to but the second he opens his mouth renjuns just about packed all of his books and waved them off, turning and leaving before they can hear the shuddery breath he takes.

in. 

out. 

stops to stand and stare at his doorstep when he gets there, where he'll go inside. throw his bag down. turn on tv. watch some on the sofa for a bit before taking a shower. sleeping in his bed. 

alone. 

and jeno, jaemin the same boy who holds half of his heart and jeno the other-they're in love. 

they must be together, in love. 

in the same bed, under the covers where they'll hold hold hold each other till sleep finds its way to them and renjun-

nods. 

puts his key in, turns it. doesn't even bother taking his jacket off-just cries. 

because it was building when he first met jaemin. fell for those eye smiles and all that charm and warmth and love and when he be-friended jeno. his memories of them two, late nights when jeno would stroke his palms, sing songs so pretty he'd made just for renjun. 

his heart is so full of them. 

absolutely broke itself when he'd discovered that they too, were in love. 

and renjun-did not cry. 

not once. 

good for them, he thought. all the while his chest, flooded endlessly with this throb, the ache and even now he wants to get away from all these thoughts. jaemin's, "i love you", and jeno's ,"i won't ever let you go." 

he wishes there were someplace without these memories. 

someplace back then, when none of them were anything to each other. 

he's stuck. 

so he cries. 

when he wants to be in their arms but he can't have that and it _hurts_. 

he's so exhausted everyday seeing them happy. watching them fall further in love. he loves them so much it makes him thirsty for rain, for resolve, for something to soothe the ache and dry- this throbbing throat of his because it's been painful forever now and he can hardly breathe, his eyes soak his hands and his cries hurt his own heart. 

he wants to beg. 

beg that they love him. 

all of his tattered bits and his heart sewn loosely on his sleeve, he wants to be in love. 

all of him-he wants to give it away. 

if there were words, that could convey what he felt he isn't even sure he'd use them. 

his korean isn't perfect.

he wishes it'd pour. 

he dreams that in some place away from time and here they were in love. 

be held, he wants to be held the way they hold each other. he wants them to miss him. to want him. to know him and laugh when he speaks, touch him-hug him like before when they loved him whole and took care of him. 

when they let him into their hearts like he lived there. 

he wants to reach out, like those hands of theirs belonged to him. 

like they were his to hold. 

wants to love. 

so deeply. 

like he belongs someplace.

"huang renjun, you look like you cried all night." jaemin tells him the next day, fingertips brushing the dark hair from out his puffy eyes, brushing his cheek and sighing when renjun leans into the touch. 

it feels like its raining. 

"you should come to dinner with us tonight." jeno smiles, pressing his head lightly renjuns shoulder and this-he can't ever have what they have. 

"come home, yeah?" jaemin just about pleas, holding hard on his hand, so he can't let go and this- 

"take me home." renjun says quietly, crying this time because the rain feels good. 

it feels like its better than nothing at all. 

**Author's Note:**

> i struggle a lot with anxiety towards relationships and i often end up longing the same way renjun did in this piece i just felt, like, it was something I wrote for me and him and- yeah.


End file.
